swing dance reading

You KNow you are a lindy hopper if...

  • You refer to your non-dancing friends as “Muggles”.
  • You think that the next number after eight is one.
  • You told a beautiful young lady/guy who asked you out, “No, wait, I’m dancing that night.”
  • You only go home to sleep, do laundry and to repack your dance bag.
  • You spend every long weekend at Lindy camps, workshops or competitions.
  • You frequently show up at work with a limp and/or bruises.
  • You no longer buy clothes you can’t dance in.
  • Your t-shirts and hoodies all have dance events on them.
  • Aerials? Did someone say Aerials?
  • Your co-workers routinely catch you trying dance moves in the elevator and think nothing of it.
  • You take the mirrors off your ceiling and put them on the walls.
  • You drink eight glasses of water a night, and only need to use the restroom for hand washing.
  • You suffer some other major bodily harm and still want to dance.
  • The local bands know which songs to save for your arrival.
  • Visiting bands know which songs to save for your arrival.
    You bring your own CD’s when you go to a social event “just in case.”
  • You go to a wedding or company Christmas party and everyone stops dancing to watch you.
  • A hot “11” Girl/Guy (on a scale of 1 to 10) asks you to dance and you turn them down because they have no rhythm.
  • A hot “11” Girl/Guy (on a scale of 1 to 10) asks you on a DATE and you turn them down because they have no rhythm.
  • Like every other college student, you stagger home after a night out – yet you’ve had nothing to drink.
  • You order drinks just to keep the club in business, but leave them sitting on the table while you dance instead of drinking them.
  • You know what “real men let go on five ” means.
  • Your heart beats to this rhythm : Thump, thump, thump-de-dump, thump, thump, thump-de-dump.
  • You carry luggage to social events but aren’t planning a trip.
  • You eat your main meal of the day at one in the morning.
  • Your newest line is “Hey, are those new shoes?” and you really DO want to talk about shoes.
  • More than one person can fit in your pants.
  • You have black and white feet.
  • You go swinging on the way to a swing lesson.
  • You eat more than your own weight in food every day.
  • The first question you ask a girl is “How much do you weigh?”
  • When you pick up girls, you pick UP girls!
  • Someone says vintage, they’re not talking about wine.
  • You can’t pass a shoe store without checking to see if they have
  • Spectators, even if you already have several pairs.
  • Your underwear is an occasionally visible part of your evening ensemble.
  • You can’t watch other forms of dance without trying to identify moves that could be turned into Swing steps or aerials.
  • You dance in the gas station parking lot while waiting for a cab.
  • You dance in the aisles at a grocery store for no apparent reason.
  • You schedule business trips around dance nights.
  • You think about Swing whenever you’re not actually doing it.
  • Your non-dance friends (Muggles) keep hoping that you’ll come to your senses so they can see you in person again.
  • You find you have more in common with the W.W.II vets in the VA than your friends and fellow students.
  • You spend years looking for skinny suspenders that DON’T clip on.
  • You gasp under your breath when you see clip-on suspenders.
  • Your spouse wonders why you must have a suspended wood dance floor in your basement.
  • The Salvation Army people are getting suspicious.
  • You saw the movie Swing Kids over fifteen times and you didn’t even like it.
  • The only thing you can think of doing with a time machine is going back to the 1930s to pick up some vintage threads.
  • When you have a chance to video tape sexy ladies and studley guys, you aim the camera only at their feet.
  • You are a woman and you shop for underwear at Sports Authority, instead of Victoria’s Secret.
  • Your friends no longer bother to ask you what you’re doing on the weekends.
  • You think an iced bottle of water is the ultimate prize for a dance contest.
  • You routinely bring several changes of clothes, water, and a towel or two for a single night out.
  • You don’t wear your dance shoes off the dance floor.
  • You sweat through your dance partner’s shirt.
  • You evaluate the quality of CD players based on whether they skip when you and two of your closest friends jump up and down right next to them.
  • You don’t need a sweater in January.
  • Your non-dancing friends (Muggles) start to refer to you as “obsessed” or “rabid.”
  • Your dancing friends refer to you as “obsessed” or “rabid.”
  • You tell those two non-dancing friends NOT to come visit you any weekend a big swing event is on because you know they won’t want to go and you’ll either go and feel guilty, or miss it and MISS IT!
  • People know and greet you only by a screen-name/nickname, not of your own choosing, bestowed upon you by fellow dancers.
  • You bought a copy of Disney’s “The Jungle Book” to see the animated Lindy dancing monkeys.
  • You make people gasp when you dance.
  • You make people laugh when you dance.
  • Alcohol impairs your dancing instead of loosens you up.
  • Home improvement includes removing carpeting, installing wood floors, and putting mirrors on the walls.
  • You have fond memories of “hopping” in a major Hollywood movie.
  • You wear kick shorts under dresses at ALL TIMES, even when dancing isn’t expected, just in case.
  • You realize that you have more pairs of dance shoes than shoes you wear out on a normal basis.
  • You don’t think is strange to travel to Sweden for dance classes.
  • You have traveled to numerous cities and can describe who you saw, who you danced to/with, what the dance venues looked like, and what late night diner you visited, but can’t remember what the city actually looks like.
  • You hit the all the breaks in the music at work.
  • You schedule your leg day workout so the next two days are not a dance night.
  • As a woman you love shopping Mod Cloth for great swing dresses, only to get to an event and realize so did every other Follow.
  • You can check-in your luggage, but never, ever check your dance shoes.
  • You ask your friends/family to plan special events (weddings, holidays, birthday parties, etc) around dance exchanges and workshops.
  • You only order water from the bar. Twist if lime if you’re feeling crazy.
  • You walk down the street in eight-counts.
  • Lines are for Charleston.